ok what is it with women sometimes. I get a call from a female friend im not in a relationship with, all the time at 4 am waking me up all the time. i dont know if she just doesnt get it but man i dont need to listen to her complain about her boyfriends if you arent nudging me dont wake me up holy shit i would tell everyone her name but when she reads this maybe she will get it UUUUUUUUGGUUUUUUGGUGGGGGGG

HHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! even worse than that is she is calling me on my pay as you go cell phone that she knows is a pay as you go phone.
Just sitting here thinking of this problem i cant decide wether that she is young or that shes dense i have a set of rules i use in realitonships now its a set of rules i follow if im going to be sleeping with a person but i think that i might have to change it to apply to new friends

rule 1
NO CHILDREN that means never sleep with children, only logical right. but this also means no one who is not mature enough to handle problems of life and able to deal with someone who has had polly lifestyle for a big part of his life. mental children are dangerous
rule 2
NO ANIMALS this means well yeah you got it no animals, and no one who acts like an animal who doesnt stay clean a person who has personal pride if they dont remember where they were last night would you want to sleep or live with them
rule 3
my primary has right of first refusal ie she or he has the right to say no to anything or anyone

rule 4
THE STUPID RULE this is where i have been trying to decide how to put a rule in there for stupid people this woman in question is not really dumb but she is not so quick with the uptake. i get really tired of dealing with people who just dont get it and if i put a rule like this to test i would try and eliminate this kind of thing from my life

    Now that’s hard  I have just spent a week at war and this first week after I have been  trying to come up with something to write  about it and I have been stumped. I started out thinking I was going to have work done enough to leave my shop for 2 weeks. It turned out that I could not get it together enough to take that much time off  well I ended up going to the first weekend the first night is called zero night. And  I was really looking forward to spending the ZERO night with my girlfriend and have  a great start to war. Well it started out getting there real late but the weather was nice even though it was a little chilly. Got trolled in and set up enough so that I could spend the evening with her. After all ive heard about Zero night I didn’t like it I would have much rather shown up at 8 am and rolled in and set up. I  know there is a job to be done and that’s the reason zero night became the aborted thing it has become but … I know there is allot to it but for me It was very stressful and Since I don’t drink  it was only amusing to a point. Falling asleep to the drunken guys saying how we were idiots for going to bed so early.

   The next morning that first Saturday was described as a difficult time that it never went smoothly land negotiations being normally problematic. I can see how it could be but it went smoothly I think mostly because the block was not too full and there was still free space amongst the camps that would work out any differences between the camps. I don’t know if I would be as diplomatic as a land agent as Sorcha is. That first day was a little hell like is stormed very heavily for most of the afternoon and the evening turned out to be ok . didn’t go out partying but had a nice dinner off site and went shopping  ( hinting the elusive tarp and pallets that night  sat around for a while with Sorcha . the vardo helled up well in the rain and stayed nice and dry .

   Sunday morning woke to a nice light cloudy morning. Dreading the feeling I knew was coming, the separation knowing she was going home first. I watched her drive off for home and a week of work. I left the next morning not getting to hold her that night was a little long for me   

     A week at work   I drive back Monday and jump into work immediately I have this dream I could get stuff done I did work but get anything done not really.

     Back at work I prepare to leave and get my ass together and head out to war on Friday at noon. I get back to coopers about 7:30. Expecting a warm welcome   I got a full report of information I really dint care for. (Mostly about my ex and the weather) so I settle in. start thinking of parties and the music I would hope to sit around and listen to. The parties are all around camp. And    the one I have raced back to see is very grumpy. Hoping for a nice sultry night turns into a night of stress for me. (You know the blue kind) so the week stars out and I get up sat morning and go to my first classes to fill my day. let me stop here and say the things I love other than being near the one. I love listening to music going to classes hearing stories and talking to people. So I went to that days classes and wandered around alone (no I don’t like that) that night parties all around that I didn’t go to but cold hear in the distance. I miss the music that night but I did get the company of the woman I came to see.

       Sunday morning comes make a breakfast and hang out till after 100 not leaving camp till late really didn’t do anything all day    

That’s my second weekend I will say more later on the rest

So I watch allot of videos, im kind of addicted. I jones for the next one i watch mostly educational ones, I really don’t do the kick to the groin ones. I just cant wait till nova puts up a new show or masterpiece theater puts one up  I search the internet for good ones and I have watched all the T.E.D.  That WWW.TED.com has to offer well I was on one of the sites I frequent and saw one today that I thought I would pass along. Its one of those inspirational ones now before you watch this I want to tell you what is on the back of a journal I carry with me its called OOPs  and it’s a little thing I try and remember but lately have forgotten

                                an irate banker demanded that Graham bell removed

                          that toy from his office that toy was the telephone

                           a Hollywood producer scrawled a curt rejection note on a

                           Manuscript that was "Gone with the wind"

                            Henry Fords largest original investor sold all his stock in

                           1906  at 10  it would be worth 100 million today

                            Roebuck sold out to Sears in 1895 for 20 K  today they

                            sell that much in 10 seconds

                                      The next time you have an idea put it on the

                                          back burner till it will warms up      

Well after that here’s the video I don’t know how to imbed video so here’s the link

                                 http://www.wimp.com/awesomemotivation/

      Just some inspiration to my friends and to some who have watched me fail over and over and jump back in over and over again

    So tonight I was thinking about stuff I like. I was watching a NOVA episode (nova is the name of a scientific television show) that was talking about cosmology  I was overwhelmed with thoughts of  well why don’t I think about … any more things I still do and some I have not really not been interested in just am not doing on a  regular basis. A short list for instance steam punk, rockabilly, volksrods trike’s and cycling  now I go through spurts, but it seems I do this allot  and lately ive become too tied to do any of the fun stuff I liked . there is nothing wrong with this as I see it  but it bothers me that I go so broad in my interests I loose them in amongst my life and by doing so  I spend allot of energy doing all these things I will never actually finish  so the question is  do I  quit thinking about all those frivolous things ( plus another large list ) and concentrate on just one interest  or embrace my hap hazard existence and do everything I can touch . just a little thought I have had today and to show why I didn’t get real work done today I was watching nova since 600pm when a true friend called me   

   So I haven’t really written much about Pennsic war! For the last few years I have been going to Pennsic war. The best way to describe Pennsic is to say it’s hard to really describe Pennsic War to anyone who hasn't seen it. To begin with, it's an annual, two week long medieval reenactment festival attended by over 10,000 people. It's participatory, so almost all attendees dress in medieval clothing and camp at the event. There are armored battles, classes on a variety of topics, an extensive shopping area and huge nightly parties. Plus, you will meet a wider variety of people than you might ever expect at a historical reenactment event.

   I started out about 15 years ago  but I never went to the event to stay at the event I went because a few people I know wanted something special built to either camp in or use at war ie kitchens and shower houses. About  5 years ago I sent my then fiancé to war ( she was a person into it also ) but I restricted myself for I don’t really know for what reason

One day I was asked by her to come back to war with her, so I did and fount there were things I liked . It was very interesting to me I am not the kind of guy who goes out and wants to party the whole time im there ( although the parties are great) I find much more interest in building stuff  like cool tents or special structures. I also find allot of interesting stuff in the classes that are held every day during the event mostly I like the blacksmithing ones and the crafts skills (leather metals, tent making) currently I have built a lot of stuff for my camp and a whole list of things for other peoples camps here are a few of them on my photo bucket page http://s211.photobucket.com/albums/bb147/gravguy/sca%20stuff/

The first largest item is the vardo itself  

Im just going to leave it at that so you can get an idea then I will post more later when I have more time

Something I have been thinking about lately,  am I ever going to streetluges  ever again just a thought it’s a good starter for next time when I have a writers block

  So this month has been real crazy, going from highs and lows. On the 23^rd of June my mother passed away. It had been a long road for her she had A.L.S.  a disease that can be pretty tough  it has no cure and affects the nervous system. ALS attracts the nerves one at a time and travels not necessarily in patters but in most cases in the extremity’s first. in most cases ALS patients from diagnosis live from 3 to 5 years . In my mothers case it started in her right arm and hand and went up her arm. In her it transitioned to her right leg after taking the use of both arms. In less then 4 months she lost use of both legs. A few months later it got into more an more of her speech and her breathing. This is where the disease really got bad. When she could no longer eat the doctors suggested to get a tube in for feeding before it was too late and they could not because of complications. When she went in for the procedure she was still able to communicate but after she came out of the hospital she was lethargic and non communicative.  After the hospital stay it was a short matter of just a few weeks till we were on watch at all times. The bad part of the disease is that you know they are in there but are trapped. They can’t communicate they can’t move. in my mothers case we were told early on that she would probably dye from suffocation. I was not at her side as she died but just before I left her side I knew that it was coming. My father didn’t want me there so he sent me away and I went to work. Before I actually arrived at work my phone had rung 5 times. So I got to my shop and returned the call. I immediately returned to the house and  helped the nurses deal with her  and made my dad sit and relax.

        As the family came together I found myself kind of standing out of the loop. I don’t want to make this about me. But I wanted people who know me to understand where im at right now. I found that I was not and am not able to express any emotion about my mom but watching my sisters cry a river and my father in his depression (understandable but not letting me help)  so im kind of there but outside looking in. now I am the type to turn to the person  im in a relationship with to look for a friend to talk to, or to friends  to sit around and just let them understand what’s going on with me. Well this time I was not around anyone and I kind of realized that I don’t deal well with not having someone around. Now I always believed in strong friendships, and im currently in a long distance relationship (when she reads this OH BOY) now I really have had no one to just talk too. The relationship with her is strong but being so far away it doesn’t allow for real communication when we are together  I don’t want to bring any bad into our conversations. I really enjoy the time I spend with her. But im so afraid of messing up what we have by brining up bad stuff. The weekend after my mothers funeral was the 4^th of July  now we had planned a nice weekend and we did all most of the things we planned but the whole time I avoided bringing this subject into our conversations now it was not that I was thinking don’t say this or that for some reason I just didn’t . I really needed the time away sitting with her watching fireworks.  It does bother me that none of my other friends called or said anything hell not even a card. But ive started to realize my friendships aren’t as strong as I thought. That or my friends are just feeling that they cant deal with me during this time.

         Something I have realized during this is how I really am in the middle of a major point in my life. Call it a stall in life or a real mid life crisis (early I guess) but someone I know described it that way and I denied it till I thought about it. Mostly I denied it because I don’t really see myself as an adult. Somehow I missed the classes that were given to the rest of society. You know the one that says go to college buy car meet a girl /boy (girl boy girl-girl boy- boy) have kids buy a house. Yeah somehow I screwed that all up so much that I have no idea where or what to do now. I thought -hey I have this cool thing I have freedom I have a cool artist life. I could be HAPPY well I am starting to wonder if it’s what I thought it is. Somehow I was just typing that last line and looked back and read it ( deleted it = re wrote it ) but I looked at the words “im happy” and thought well yeah overall I am  I wonder how I could do better but I really am

Ok I could write for a long time on this but I think im going to stop  ( don’t want to waste it all in one time)